Reply to Did your spouse ever emotionally or verbally abuse you?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The way you initiated the conversation was pretty aggressive. When he said now was not a good time to discuss it, you continued on and threatened divorce. How did you expect him to react?[/quote]

Well...to be honest, he NEVER thinks its a "good time". I probably was aggressive but I am fed up and tired of waiting for something that is so important to me. He always said he wanted kids so I am confused about the stalling. And he isn't eager to seriously address it with me or make a plan.[/quote]

Might be his Mo. be no responsive and try to aggravate you (then attract you personally) or get you to give up. Either way he’s training you to never talk or he tries to escalate everything into an argument.  I bet you nicely asked 2-5 times and he ignored or talked down, then you say it louder or “aggressively” or walk away.  Win win win for him. Lose lose lose for the relationship or issue to resolve.

Divorce.  Sorry.  But he’s not an adult.[/quote]

Op here.

Yep. Basically its his way or the highway. Anything he doesn't want to do or makes him uncomfortable, he will shut down by shutting me up.

Our interactions go like this:

Me talking excitedly and warmly about something important to me that he agreed to/demonstrated enthusiasm for previously.

years pass and no progress

I bring it up as a reminder, I am casually brushed off and told "relax" it will happen. or "be happy everything is ok"

I wait some more but start getting anxious and stressed

I address the issue more urgently/aggresively.

He gets defensive and acts like I am INSANE for being "rude". He will yell and call me names. And run off.

I am confused, scared and become quiet and drop the topic.

A few months later I feel sad there is no movement and bring it up angrily/passive aggresively. He states he "doesn't want a fight" and will leave and walk away or blow up.

[/quote]

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