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[quote=Anonymous]I'm so sorry about this situation, OP.  You totally have a point, and I don't think you're overreacting at all.  I'd have killed my husband if he made that kind of decision without me, and then been rigid about it.  I'm also of the mindset that the mom gets final call on visitors in those first weeks, for the reasons described above (recovery, hormones, breastfeeding, etc.).  You have no idea how L&D will go--hopefully smoothly, but who knows--best case, you'll be tired and sore.  And, I totally spent a lot of time topless those first few weeks, or at least in my bathrobe.  Not unusual at all.

If I had to do it over again, I'd want at least two weeks between bringing the baby home and visitors other than my mom (also local).  My lovely MIL came in two days after we got home from the hospital, and it was very stressful.  My husband and I had agreed on her visit beforehand; I didn't anticipate how tough it would be. She helped somewhat, but only after my husband sat her down and told her she was there to help us, not just hang out.  Even then, I still felt like I had to entertain her when all I wanted to do was hold my daughter in peace.

I'd also wait until things have cooled down and then revisit with your husband.  One of the midwives advised us at the hospital to spend the next two weeks holed up together at home with the baby, and I wish we had.  If your OB/midwife is supportive, and you think an expert opinion would help, perhaps you might ask them to weigh in?  If all else fails, I'd also advise staying in your room with the baby, and doing whatever you need to maintain your privacy.  It's such a special time, and one you won't get back.   Good luck.[/quote]

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