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[quote=Anonymous]I agree with having DH talk to someone who's had a baby recently.  He is out of his mind to go against your wishes on this.

Remind him that you are going to be a patient in a hospital, recovering.  You need what you need to help you recover.  If that's your mom, so be it.  If it would make your DH more comfortable to have your mom come back and forth during the day, that seems a reasonable compromise (you might want some space, even from her, and it keeps one helpful person from being sleep-deprived).  But there is no way that you should be expected to host guests immediately after the birth.  No way.

Right after birth, I was still fumbling with breast-feeding, struggling both logistically and emotionally due to supplementing issues, trying to sleep whenever I could, and sobbing every late afternoon and evening whether I had a nap or not.  And, since I had a c-section, DH was pretty busy taking care of me and the baby.  I nursed 24-7, ate, and rested.  He diapered, swaddled, shushed to sleep...it was intense, and I needed his focus and attention.  I like my ILs well enough, but there is no way I wanted them staying with us. They came and visited briefly at the hospital (staying in a hotel) and then came down for the day about three weeks later, which was fine.

The ILs were incredibly rude in assuming what their role would be rather than asking you and DH what makes you comfortable.  The first bath?  Really?  That's immediately after the birth.  You probably don't want anyone but you and your DH there then.

Your DH needs to back you up here.  This is not about his parents (or yours for that matter), but about you and your DH becoming parents and creating a new family.  Setting appropriate boundaries is part of that.  There will be times you want just your nuclear family, and you do not want the ILs thinking they can just invite themselves whenever.

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