Reply to Would you decline family money to avoid their unspoken strings?

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[quote=Anonymous]It's unspoken, right? So how do you know? A gift is something that is given with a loving heart and you don't expect anything in return. If you have been told there are expectations by a messenger, let the messenger know you only accept gifts. As we all know gifts are often used to manipulate. That is why people at their jobs cannot accept gifts worth more than a certain amount.

My family pulls this shit and I used to get drawn in. I stopped going along with unspoken strings. When those strings were spoken I said I don't accept gifts with strings. I give a thank you note and say thank you. That is all. Now my mother of all people goes out of her ways to make it clear at every birthday and holiday she is giving me nothing. I still do things for her, but not more than I am willing. I have boundaries. When she goes into her song and dance to make sure i know I am not getting her giftypoo I change the subject. She is old and unable to hide her true nature. I do want to be in her life and be there for her within limits, but the amount I do for her is based on my hectic life, not any amount of money she has or will never give me.[/quote]

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