Reply to Anyone ever contemplated getting a divorce together and then deciding it was too impractical?

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[quote=Anonymous]I would suggest meeting with a lawyer (or two) for a consult, which will cost money, but will let you know exactly what your best/worst/,most likely scenarios are.

Your follow up post makes your husband sound very difficult.  It sounds (to me) that he would make a divorce difficult, would eat up fees, would insist on more custody than he wants to punish you and get more money from you.  He's also threatening you.  Meting with an attorney can help you see what's really likely to happen.

I'd also suggest you start to think of this strategically.  Meeting with an attorney can help you learn what types of things you might have to document in order to gain advantage during thee divorce.  Do you do all the school pick ups and he does none?  Does he participate in medical appointments, etc?  You might be able o document a strong case for tie breaking authority for medical or school decisions, for example.

Also, (veery broadly speaking, admittedly stereotypes) men often threaten and women often cave - but the reality of the law can be quite different than the threats or the caving. Some people might say, let's save money, not involve lawyers, draw up an agreement ourselves and then an agreement is drawn up that is disadvantageous to one party.

Also - if you meet with several attorneys (which will cost you money!) you could conflict out firms that your DH would then not be able to hire.

Have you considered therapy for yourself?  It might be worthwhile.  You seem very determined to be right.  Right fighting can be very toxic.  Yes, sometimes you laugh at the dumb jokes.  Yes, sometimes you do foolish things.  it might seem forced or awkward, but trying ot go with the flow (reasonably) might help, at least a little.

Your DH also seems like a bean counter and right fighter.  Calculating expenses based on income doesn't scream "our money."  Maybe therapy for you alone can help you learn what is more normal in a healthy relationship.

A boat is a big commitment.  (especially if there are no college savings!).  Are there ways to build up to that commitment?  boat shares?  Taking a boating course and getting boating safety certified by BoatUS?  Weekend rentals?  Etc - some ways to build in fun activities while not making the full commitment.  What about drawing up a 3 year plan to boat ownership?  [/quote]

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