Reply to Anyone ever contemplated getting a divorce together and then deciding it was too impractical?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP you're an internet stranger so I'm just gonna give it to you straight.....GROW UP! You sound immature and selfish, and I recognize this because I've been where you are. I separated from my spouse and it devastated our family. The kids suffered so much. In seeing them suffer we both saw how immature we were being. Fights over money were stupid, we weren't going bankrupt. Not being light and laughing together was stupid. We were blessed to have each other, be healthy, have great kids. It is easy to let lifes stressors pile up and be a joykill. You must actively resist this. Remember back how it was when you were dating, when you were kind, and intersted/interesting, when you said positive things to your partner on a regular. Get back to that.[/quote]

Thank you. Did you get back together?

It's hard not to be a joykill, when someone is asking you to literally work for things (boat) you dont even value and takes time away from things you do value (family). You are right though, that's why Im telling myself, is it just cheaper to get him the damn boat so I can still sleep every night with my kids. I will take immature and selfish. But from my perspective, a father of 3 is being immature and selfish buying a boat when we are not even saving up for college. But again, should I just swallow this? we tried, and I really got mad, because I thought the bike, kayak would be enough.... Now it's a freaking boat with dock fees. [/quote]

Are you really fighting that much about a boat? I mean, can't you just say "we aren't getting a boat because that represents [X number] of months at my job working for it and I think we can have fun in other ways?" I am not being snarky here, this is just a really foreign idea to me, making a partner work so you can have something that is as unnecessary as a boat. (For a context, I'm a stay at home mom, DH is a high earner, I see a very clear relationship between what I buy and how much time he spends with the family and I am trying to save my pennies so he can quit his high-earning job.)

And on the one hand, a boat is probably cheaper than alimony. But on the other hand, I would struggle being married to somebody who didn't seem to appreciate how hard I was working by spending our money on things like boats. [/quote]

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