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[quote=Anonymous]OP. The answer is as often as you need to. Which may not be every time you want to. And is probably not every time your parents want you to.

I agree with PPs that being on a residential campus a lot your first semester weekends is important. I’d have your parents come up for parents weekend. Then Thanksgiving, winter break, and re-evaluate after the first semester. By then, you should have some idea what keeps you connected, but not too connected, allows you to participate on campus and gives you time to study.

I sent my first kid to a SLAC as a freshman last year. So hard, because nobody knew where COVID was going (his college did great). As a condition of sending him in COVID under all the different rules and with added risk, we asked to see his face once a week. So, on the calendar, every Sunday night, was a Zoom call. It could be rescheduled. It could be 2 minutes long.  But, we needed to see his face and make sure all was well. It ended up working well. We offered to drop it his year, and he said he anted to keep it.

Some things to think about when dealing with your parents:

Ask for one semester, and then agree to revisit. Tell them this is what you need to do to adjust.  And you’d be glad to talk to them about going forward after first semester. Not do it their way. But discuss.  It’s hard to send a kid off to college. It’s easier if you take it one step at a time and don’t do forever.

Be sensitive to family milestones. Ask for them in advance, and schedule what you *reasonably* can. Weddings of close family members, milestone birthdays. Even if you only drive in for a day.  Come in Friday evening and leave before lunch Saturday   But reasonable. So, not 3 weekends in a row. Not during finals. Not more than 1-2 per semester.

Buy yourself some goodwill and maturity points. Offer weekly check ins (short, zoom, phone or text) if you are comfortable with it. Discuss up front like an adult. Understand that some events are very important.  Don’t duck calls about coming home. Don’t insist you can miss your sister’s bar mitzvah on a Saturday with nothing special going on at school.  Set it up at the beginning of the semester, write it on the calendar.  Then stand form against parental guilt.

Also, an on campus job with some weekend hours can give you an easy way to say no.

And remember, your parents are new at this too, and don’t have a context of going to school for knowing normal. Talking it out like an adult sets you up to make the next decision that your parents have input on maturely.

You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders. Good luck![/quote]

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