Reply to "I have my own way of doing things"

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Reply to ""I have my own way of doing things""

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.

It's weird because I feel like I've of my hyper focus areas is just in problem solving. Give me a job saying to move things from bin 1 to bin 2 and I'll probably get fired within a week, but give me a problem / puzzle / confusing situation and I'll devote a lot of brain power towards correcting it.

I know what worked for me won't necessarily work for DS, but I am also one of two people who know him better than anybody else in the world. And not just that, but I see the genius in him. Part of me is not as excited about therapy because it didn't help (and in some ways hurt) my development. But it's not that I don't trust the therapists. It's more that I want him to believe in himself and that he can conquer these challenges. I know he'll have some that he won't conquer, or at least won't conquer initially, but I want to show him that it can be done, and not just in a movie but by him.

So we've done it with a lot of school stuff and now with bike riding. He has issues he needs to work on still and I'm just at a pause on exactly when we should see a therapist. Like on first seeing the problem?  After he gets frustrated?  After we get frustrated? What If my first idea works? What If my first one didn't? [/quote]

You work though at these ideas *with* the therapist. Call today. It takes forever to find a good one.

ADHD adult with ADHD child.[/quote]

OP, you seem very focused on specific solutions for specific individual problems, but your son needs something more fundamental.  The therapist should help your son come up with strategies that are more generalizable from one problem to another.  You say he has issues he needs to work on, and you say that interacting with other kids other than by running is not as good as it could be.  The underlying cause may be impulsivity, or poor social skills, or anxiety, or whatever.  The therapist is to help with those underlying reasons, which if addressed should help your son in many areas of life.

It seems like you are looking for reasons to avoid therapy.  Is that because the task of finding a therapist is opaque or overwhelming to you?[/quote]

It's not that I'm looking for a reason to avoid it. It's that it's not my first thought. I've always been a do what I can do type of person, so when I see something like this, I ask how can I help (to myself), then I'll go on a run or a walk and come back with a dozen ideas, and some will work. But then my thought process go into implementing these ideas and I'll forget about therapy.

Somebody said that I may be causing more stress on my wife and not realizing it and I felt that. We had the conversation about her being the one who is making these calls. I really have to set myself onto a task like calling a therapist and break it into things that I enjoy or I'll forget. Maybe it's something about the executive function.

As far as running though (and maybe I should talk to the therapist about this) but I don't doubt that it can help him in social / classroom settings. Right now, I get home from work and if he's had a bad day, we'll go for a run to help him burn some energy, calm down, and just have alone time with me. From my readings and my own experience, I'd like to get him to take earlier runs like before he gets his day going. That's what I've been doing for about 3 years and it's been great for me.  And for about 10 years I've been running and it's really helped my mental state. ADHD experts talk about how good running is for ADHD but I don't want to act like I'm the expert and like it's a cure because that's overselling it.  And not to mention, my son has to like running and want to run (right now he likes it, but if we make him run when he wakes up maybe he won't like it as much).

I'm still brainstorming this but I'm realizing that I've got to figure a way to get more involved with this phase. Now we get to things like what is a good therapist, what do you do when you disagree with the therapist, or my wife and the therapist, and a bunch of other questions. But I'm not against it, it's just not my first thought generally.[/quote]

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