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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Is this sustainable?

10 years, hetero couple, 2 kids
Multiple no sex periods since 2013, with only sex in the past several years resulting in the 2 kids
Higher earning partner resents the lower earner's job
Higher earner expects the lower earner to contribute financially but also treats them like a housespouse
Higher earner uses large purchases that benefit the whole family (like a house) as justification for sulking if the lower earner doesn't do things like make them lunch when they're WFH
Higher earner barely does any household maintenance or chores, or does them poorly on rare occasions
One partner has chosen a restrictive diet and expects the other partner to cater to their sanctimonious preferences
One partner doesn't communicate well and treats the other partner like they're crazy for being vocal
One partner doesn't drive and expects the other partner to take them everywhere[/quote]

It doesn't sound sustainable. John Gottman is the guru genius of marriage counseling.  He has done a ton of research that shows that marriages are often salvageable  unless one of the "Four Horseman of the Apocalypse" have entered the relationship:  criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling.

So does the higher earner have contempt for the other spouse or is it just frustration?  If it's contempt, DMFA.  If it's frustration, the marriage might be salvageable.

Honestly, though words like "sanctimonious" and "crazy" and "sulking" sounds pretty contemptuous.  If you all can't dial that back, it's probably over.

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