Reply to Update to "Minimal amount of secret drinking"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I grew up with an alcoholic father. Although he never abused us he was a total drain on our home.

Leave for your and kids sake but also for his. He will either get better after getting the message or spiral into death. You can't keep doing this.[/quote]

I grew up with alcoholic parents. Very high functioning, but alcoholic nonetheless. I can tell you firsthand that my childhood experience with alcoholism has had a major impact on the rest of my life. I am independent to a fault, struggle with intimacy, struggle with hyper responsibility and lack of boundaries. I became an adult much too early, and have a lot of difficulty distinguishing between what is my responsibility and what is not. I am responsible for everything, basically.

When I was younger and dating, I had a lot of difficulties recognizing behavior in men that amounted to treating me poorly.  I think that underneath it all, I do not have a deep-seated belief that I am lovable.  Alcoholics put themselves first and neglect their children in various ways.

The only person I trust is myself.  I do not have emotional intimacy in my marriage (understatement).

OP, you have not messed up. You are addressing this problem so that your daughter does not bear the brunt of it. That’s what’s most important here.

Big hugs to you.[/quote]

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