Reply to your child's pain

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How much should you feel your child's pain? By that I mean, are you emotionally so in tune where every hurt they experience, every tear or whatever you are dying yourself? What is a healthy line? If they get a cavity are you also in tears? I'm trying to get a gauge of what's considered healthy.[/quote]

I definitely "feel" my child's pain. However,  I don't let it get in the way of helping them, I don't cry in front of them, and I do what I need to do to help them get better.  My kids are teens, and I'm not sure how any parent could just brush off some things that happen to their kids without it affecting them. For example, when my daughter sprained her ankle and couldn't play soccer for a few weeks, she was devastated.  I tried to help her see that this is something minor, that she will recover in a few weeks, and got her the care she needed so she was back playing as soon as possible.  However, I could "feel" her disappointment, "feel" her sadness for her when she would cry over missing a game, because I knew in her teenage brain this was a huge deal to her.

I don't think it would fall into being narcissistic unless you made it about you.  But having your own strong emotions when your child is hurt or struggling with something doesn't mean you are narcissistic. I am a highly sensitive person and have always been empathetic and "felt" other's pain, and its even stronger with my own children. But I know how to deal with my own emotions separately.  It is exhausting to be this type of person, and I have developed strategies to process my strong emotions privately. I am referred to as kind and empathetic by my friends, and I don't think anyone would call me a narcissist as I am constantly doing for others. [/quote]

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