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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I hope all of you with emotionally stunted parents grow up into fabulous understanding parents and great spouses. You must break this cycle and give your children lots of love and validation so they grow into functional and loving adults.

Do not perpetuate this kind of crap on the next generation.  You all are adults so get over whatever was done wrong to you and learn through therapy what you should do to parent correctly and move forward in your life.  [/quote]

NP here: Thank you! This thread helped me - almost all posts sincere and helpful. I struggle with so much that many of you talk about - just accepting mothers as they are. Not going back to a dry well. Longing for a loving and caring mother (especially after becoming a mother myself) but trying to stave off disappointment and exhaustion from that, turning to therapy, and determined efforts with my husband and I to provide very open, loving, connecting, stable and secure childhoods for our children.

My children are biracial (I'm white, husband's black), and the pain from my parents not accepting them as who they are has been the most painful experience in my life. I have had to accept that my parents are who they are; no more pretending they are different than the words they say, no longer expecting them to really care about us. It's not easy realizing your parents can't really be there, and then just accepting that and moving on. I think once I get to the point where I stop thinking there's a solution somehow is the time I'll be free from the hurt of my own emotionally stunted mother.[/quote]

I hope you find that freedom, and I’m sorry you have to go through this. [/quote]

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