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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My best friend has suffered through 3 years of infertility trying for a second and finally decided to be done with treatment. She's coming to peace with it and our sons are the same age and best friends. She's been talking nonstop about how they're like brothers and will grow up doing things together which I whole-heartedly agree with. All of a sudden, it turns out that I am pregnant - completely unexpectedly. Our sons are 5, about to start K this year, so will be significantly older than the new baby, but I have no idea how to tell her. She knows we weren't trying, we've talked about how I'm happy with one, and it just feels so unfair that I'm having another and she, who tried so hard for a second won't have one. I haven't told her yet, and I have no idea how to tell her. I don't want this to get in the way of our friendship, but I also know how sensitive it may be. Anyway, looking for advice on how to tell her, when to tell her, etc.[/quote]

I'm the IF friend with the only. Best friend? I would not want a text if you were my best friend...so cold. Also not a huge announcement at a lunch where I couldn't get away if needed. Walk in the park? Takeout coffee? What do you usually do, without kids? Visit on the front porch?  It's not easy whatever you decide, and there is no right answer for everyone going through IF. I might want a heads up text "Hey, have something going on, can we chat privately sometime?" That way it's not "let's have lunch" and then "surprise!" whatever easy way you try to ease into it. This might get her wondering, and she can choose to say "sure, let's meet" or "are you pregnant" or "can we chat over the phone first?". You'd be surprised that this lead-in will probably tell her what is going on. Us longtime IFer's have our radar up all.the.time.

I also found it easier to hear pg news from people that I knew really cared about me. Still hard, but better.

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