Reply to Minimal amount of secret drinking

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]There is this whole spectrum where this issue could exist, anywhere from "alcohol problem/deceit" to "micromanaging/overreacting/his is afraid of you." There is really no way for us to tell where this exists on the spectrum, and truthfully, it may be difficult for you both to tell also because there has been a lot of emotion over time.

Therapy seems like a good idea to 1.) find out what the issue(s) really is for both of you individually re: alcohol and/or otherwise, and 2.) to decide what to do about it, either actively or supportively or together. [/quote]

I think this is the best advice you have gotten OP. Lots of people have a lot of mental hang-ups with alcohol on this board and unfortunately everyone will see their side in this story so you will get many 'god get off his back it was two beers' and you'll get many 'this was how my husband's slide towards dying in front of my of liver cirrhosis after he punched me in the face started"

This is probably a combo of issues, his being resentful of you making a decision about alcohol for both of you, forbidden fruit, his having some substance abuse issues, you having some control issues. Go to therapy and work through it, if you communicate and are honest and committed then you'll come out stronger for it. I don't think you necessarily have some huge marriage ending problem, but there have been marriage destroying seeds planted in your garden. Dig them out, don't let them grow or get any roots. [/quote]

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