Reply to Please be gentle/positive: 8 year age gap

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[quote=Anonymous]This is not the same, but I am much closer to my brother who is 7 years older than either of my two siblings who are much closer in age. I think a big age gap can be really nice because it reduces the amount of competition between siblings. And sometimes being less close as kids can help make you more close as adults. That's what happened with my brother and I. He was just in a very different place in his childhood than I was when I was growing up, but then one day he came home from college and I was in high school and we discovered we both liked watching sports and had similar taste in music, and we built a relationship based on our more adult interests.

Also, as someone who is currently contemplating a smaller age difference (4 years), something I hear a lot from other families with bigger gaps is that a larger age gap can allow both your kids to have something resembling the experience of an only. Your first has all those years before the second comes along (and those are the critical years for one on one time with parents, as they are learning to trust), and then is busier with school and friends and activities by the time the second arrives. There may still be jealousy initially, but it's not like with a 2 or 3 year old who often just feels like they are being replaced. Your 8 year old will not be watching a younger sibling doing things she just stopped doing (sleeping in a crib, nursing, playing with baby toys, etc.). It should help make that transition easier, even if they aren't gaining an instant pal in the same age group.[/quote]

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