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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What stunted here is that you know your mother and who she is, yet you continue to hope for a different response.

“It still disappoints me.”

Instead of focusing on your mother’s emotional inadequacies, why not focus on why you keep expecting something from someone who is incapable of giving it to you. What are you working on with YOUR therapist? Why do you need to rehash this here?

Until you take that head on, you’ll be stuck in a loop like your mother. [/quote]

This is so right. I’ve kept repeating this to myself my adult years with my parents. Accept them for who they are and where they are.
It did bring me peace. Until the next time and I repeat it again….[/quote]

Another person agreeing. OP I so relate. I still sometimes obsess and wish things were different, but therapy helped me accept my mother as limited, narcissistic and somewhat borderline. It helped me have a relationship with major boundaries and have consequences every time she stomps on them and tantrums. That said, "it still disappoints me" too. it just doesn't derail me the way it used to. My expectations are so very low for her and every now and then she actually behaves like a decent human-rare, but it happens.[/quote]

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