Reply to Manipulative sister who insists that we come to her DD's party and sacrifice time with grandparents

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Reply to "Manipulative sister who insists that we come to her DD's party and sacrifice time with grandparents"

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[quote=Anonymous]I am the younger sister to older sisters and I can sympathize with your sister.

She came to all those events because she wanted to. Because she was excited to share the event with you, she loved you, she loved your kids. She thought you loved having her there. That it was important.  And it probably was all those things but it doesn't diminish the reality right now that making the 8 hour trek in a car is hard, that you really want to spend time with your parents and want it to be a longer visit, that your kids are older and you probably don't put the same emphasis and importance on a 1st birthday party.

As the younger sister, it's just really hard to think about and does make you feel bad - isn't anyone excited about my child? doesn't anyone want to join me in celebrating? I thought my sister was going to be so happy for me and be here for me. And your sister is right now probably realizing in hindsight that she is mad that she bent over backwards to sometimes travel to your events when she didn't have to and at this point blames you (though she made the choice herself and don't worry she will figure that out too)

And it sounds like she is really struggling and your parents know it and want to be there when she is hurting.  Wouldn't you want to do the same for your child?

And maybe it hurts your feelings a little bit to admit that your mom and dad are closer to your sister and that they will spend more time with her child than yours.  And maybe  you are even feeling some jealousy.

Go in July. Get your kids to help you pick the most amazing presents. Ask for the best tips from everyone you can regarding the car trip. Don't see it as a chore but a means to an end. Be so excited to see your sister, meet your niece and see your parents. Be there for your sister now, tell her it doesn't matter how many people show up to the party your family will be there and it will be great.  Don't judge. Don't make your sister feel bad.  You are too old and too much time has gone by.  Maybe she won't change and that's ok but you have changed. You are not little kids anymore.  Be as happy for her as she was for you. [/quote]

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