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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I'm in your position.  I have a friend with a severely disabled child that has a life expectancy of early teens at the most.  Pls. realize that there is nothing that you can do or say to make her feel better.  Give her space and time.  Be a good listener - one of the MOST important things.  My friend sometimes calls me in the middle of the night, after not having heard from her for 5 months or so and she talks, for a long time and that is okay.  Don't offer advice, just an ear.  That is all that is needed.

Your friendship will never be the same because she is not the same.  Having a severely disabled child is devastating and incredibly hard on the parents.  Your group of friends should NEVER judge her.  They have not walked in her shoes.

Just be there when she needs you.  Call once in a while and let her talk, vent.  Bring over a coffee cake and a cappucchino and offer a hug.

This has been a life-changing experience for your friend and she can only deal with things day by day.  There are no long term plans.  We all have dreams about our children.  When we are pregnant, we wonder what they look like when they are born and then we dream about them being in ballet, little league, soccer club.  We talk about the college they might attend or what they will do with their future.  All that is taken away from your friend in an instant.  Gone.  Done.  Imagine that feeling!  It is heart-wrenching and numbing.

I cannot tell you what you can do for her.  Just take day by day, week by week and year by year.  She may come around and start reaching out for you again, but don't pressure or push her.  Keep her in your heart.  She may need you someday more than you may think...[/quote]

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