Reply to S/O What is our obligation as parents regarding college $$$?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]With your income you are being stingy. You could absolutely afford private. Or the delta of private minus some merit. We are full pay for undergrad and happy to do it as we do indeed see it as our obligation. [/quote]

It was not my intention, but this post has become about how people judge my own personal sense of obligation.  I was hoping to get others to tell me their thoughts and offered my own to "get it going."

To that end, do I understand that you intend to pay full cost of *any* undergrad?  How about grad school?  Does it make any difference what your income is and has been?[/quote]

At $450K income, there is zero question I would pay for most colleges and graduate schools.  At our income which is less than half, more than likely we would too as our goal is to get our house paid off before kids go to high school and then save (we have state college and graduate school saved).  I just don't get it.  If you can afford it, why wouldn't you?  How do you think it looks to your kids to be living very comfortably and then only paying for [b]the absolute minimum for school.  What values are you teaching them?  Things over education? Things over people?[/b] [/quote]

Interesting stuff here.

Do you view graduating debt free from UMD to be "the absolute minimum"?

And with the approach of "if you can afford it, why wouldn't you"- where does that reasoning end?  I could also afford to send my children to an elite boarding school like Choate, pay for private tutors, spend thousands on "college admissions advisors", and make huge donations to certain universities if I were to forego almost everything else about our quality of life.  Am I wrong not to do that?

"things over people"- How do you know how I spend my money?  People assume I live in a fancy house and drive fancy cars and take fancy vacations.  I do in fact live in a very nice house (average by DCUM standards) that we just bought.  We own one seven year old mini-van.  We absolutely take fancy vacations.  We tithe 10% of what we earn.  And we prioritize experiences with family and friends and funding every interest in sports and extra curriculars that our kids express.  We also hope to live a long and healthy life in which we can share our fortune with our kids and grandkids.

We both also graduated from UMD with debt and neither of us attended graduate school.
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