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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My SIL and MIL had a dynamic where they decided everything and made all the plans and dh just showed up. It worked for a while with me but then our plans just became too hectic with kids and both our schedules. We can't just show up when other people need us all the time. We like it when our schedules get taken into account.

And then my SIL was really really upset anytime I tried to change anything about holidays. She was upset I rotated holidays between her family and mine. She was upset when I brought a dish that wasn't traditionally on her mom's Christmas table. She refuses to come when I host because she wants her mom to host instead (but then my parents aren't invited).

I'm not pushy, but she is. We still get along great and I just ignore things she says that I don't agree with. If we lived closer, we'd get along great. I'm a bit sad she never married and didn't have kids.[/quote]

I will never understand people that think you are supposed to spend every holiday with one side of the family and the other persons family should just suck it up. [/quote]

Agree!  My MIL actually thought my mother should move her Thanksgiving to Friday so we could spend Thanksgiving every year with her.  She started asking about Tgiving every year in August, like somehow if she invited us first then we were obligated to go to hers.  She basically said my family tradition didn't count compared to hers.  I let it slide in the interest of maintaining good relations, and because my husband and I were on the same side.  (The fact that he could watch football when we celebrated with my parents was a contributing factor!)

However, now everybody is super old and we don't have those battles any more - and I wish very dearly that we could, because it would mean everyone was in good health. So to all with these challenges, don't forget that they are only temporary.  Sadly, time will eliminate them.[/quote]

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