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[quote=Anonymous]My mother does this. Since she has no contact information for anyone outside of my siblings, it’s easily managed. She has burned more bridges than I care to acknowledge.

She will do what she will do. Trying legal action will turn this into the high drama circus she craves. I’d like to caution you against that. Nothing good will come from it. I promise.

I know my siblings have my back, and I literally have zero Fs to give about anyone who believes her crazy nonsense. I encourage you to find the the same zero Fs. It’s the best way.

In the interim, I can recommend you say things like: “My mother has a lot of issues.” “My mother sees things the way she likes to see them.” And, for the persistent ones : “My mother is incredibly abusive, and I don’t like discussing it.” or, alternately “My mother is crazy, and I can’t have that level of crazy in my life. She knows where I am, but we don’t speak anymore.”

What she’s doing is referring to as using “flying monkeys.” Give them as little information about you as possible if you think they’re sympathizing with your mom. There’s no need to win  them over, or explain your side of the store. Your boundaries are you own, and you owe precisely no one an explanation for them.

Most people don’t comprehend a mother who could treat her own kids with cruelty. Be grateful there are more people out there raised by normal, caring parents. They’re lucky to not know how bad it can be, and they’re unlikely to ever understand. They don’t know they’re lucky, but you do.

PS: Please consider therapy, or reading some books on personality disordered parents. You’re not alone. There’s even a subreddit : r/raisedbyborderlines[/quote]

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