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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]They will only get worse OP.

I preferred to keep in touch with my gossiping narcissist mother so I could feed her the info I wanted her to know.

I also moved to another state and only see family on rare visits home a couple.of times a year.

Cutting her off completely will make her go berserk with gossip that is even worse than it was before. "Gray rock" is so much better.

Let others know your mother is trying to control you life. You can't control those other people either, they may believe what your mother says. Google narcissist and "flying monkeys": it's a known thing they do. The only person you can control is yourself.

Know all this from experience. Good luck OP.[/quote]

DP. It depends on the dynamic. If OP can really go no contact, and can ignore third party “helpers” it could work. Mommy Dearest will probably escalate, trying to provoke a response, because it worked in the past. Usually, like tantruming children, they realize it’s not working and they move on to something more fun. This won’t work if OP feeds it by responding, even sending messages through family to stop or giving negative attention. The worst thing you can do is say you’re cutting someone off forever then go back, because you’re teaching them that if they shout loud enough, you’ll come back and be nice to get them to be quiet. So if you can’t really cut them off, the PP above is exactly right, and super low contact helps. 
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