Reply to What would you do if you realized your best friend is a complusive liar?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

Wow. You sound really, really mean.

I don't blame you for walking away from a friendship that wasn't working for you anymore, of course, and anyone can understand how being friends with someone so completely unable to handle her baggage or be a real friend would be impossible. So it's not that I think you're an asshole for ending the friendship.

It's that I think you are an asshole for not once, in this tirade against your friend, whose side of the story we haven't heard, is a tiny bit of sympathy for someone who clearly cannot process and present her own life correctly. For not wondering what might have gone wrong for her or with her. 
[/quote]

I'm the pp and I was just telling what it was like from my perspective and of situations I saw with her interactions from other people.  I actually held onto the friendship among the longest thinking well she lies but she really cares about me as a friend until one day I realized that wasn't true.  I don't know how to explain the situation other to say when I found out someone I thought of a close friend lied about so many things, there was a sense of betrayal and a sense of foolishness that I believed things that would have stretched any outsiders 
sense of belief.  There was also the fact that whatever her story, she tried to control people with her lies.  If the lies were like, I went out for a walk, but really I stayed home, that's one thing.  When the lies are the cause of people not talking to each other and trying to tear down other people's self esteem, that is a different category.    It's like someone may steal because they are hungry, because they think it's fun, because they have a compulsion, or they want the easy way out.  How do you ever learn the why's, who knows if and when that person may change, and if you are the one that had something stolen isn't the end result the same whatever the reason?  I think the very fact you had something stolen would make you trust a little less and make you question if there was something about you that made you vulnerable to the situation.  There will always be a part of me that would probably take her back into my life if she was trying to change, but there is also a part of me that now questions everything and is less likely to make excuses for people.[/quote]

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