Reply to Not sure how to handle ghosting au pair

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My DD’s best friend has an au pair. The mom in the family is a good friend of mine.

I made some missteps / did some things that annoyed the au pair. The au pair suggested we chat in person rather than via text and I think that’s a great idea.

The problem is I think maybe one of the things that upset her was when I asked for a favor and she didn’t respond I wrote a few days later and asked if she got my text. I then wrote a few days later and said “can you let me know if you see this? I’m trying to figure out our plans one way or another”. I gather the au pair was upset that I had pressured her to watch my DD that day (and my DH thinks I should have understood the lack of response to be a “no”). For me, if she’d just said “that won’t work” to begin with I would have figured something else out. Anyway, I made other missteps too so I see how they piled up. I don’t think any are terrible (similar to example I provided) but I understand why she’s grumpy with me.

The thing is, she proposed a time I had a meeting. I proposed a number of other times and she’s gone silent again. Most of the times I proposed would require me to move a meeting / have some heads-up. The one she said “maybe, we’ll see” is for today. So for now we’re just avoiding texting her, arranging play dates etc and that’s not really tenable. I really would like to see if we can clear the air at all. My husband thinks she tends to forget or not realize I have a job. She seems to not want to meet during free-time (understandable) or when she’s watching the kids, so I’m not sure what to do. Do I arrange for my husband to watch the kids so we can meet?[/quote]

Pay your own $8,000 fee to an aupair agency and host your own au pair. Weirdo.
She's ghosting you because you are asking her to break her visa violations and she is too polite to call you on it.[/quote]

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