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[quote=Anonymous]I think the most important factors are valuing yourself as a person, and being truly, ruthlessly, honest and introspective when you consider what it is that will make you happy.

The subcategory of “low quality” men I would include cheaters, men with multiple families, chronic unemployed/underemployed, drug/alcohol/gambling addiction, abusive, misogynistic and— one of the absolute worst of all— lazy. A woman with a sense of her own value does not give these men the time of day while dating, and has the self possession and confidence to leave these men if it comes up during dating and engagement.  I know very few women married to men like this who Genuinely had no idea during the dating stages.

Then you get to the ruthless honesty about what makes you happy.  There is nothing wrong or “low quality” with wanting to watch sports every Sunday, but if you date a guy thinking he won’t do that when you’re married it’s foolish— but plenty of women are unhappy being cook and caretaker every Sunday afternoon. Before I met my husband I dated a guy in medical school and one investment banker— both really great guys, “high quality” but I would not have been happy with the hours they put in vs hours spent with family.  Others would be great with it! But I would have been in an unhappy marriage regardless of the quality of the partner if I wasn’t able to be honest about what I really was looking for.  I think the bulk of unhappy marriages fall into the category of people choosing for what they think they want versus what would honestly make them happy partners. [/quote]

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