Reply to How do you make peace with having a spouse who is not bad enough to leave?

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Reply to "How do you make peace with having a spouse who is not bad enough to leave?"

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[quote=Anonymous]I cannot imagine staying in this situation, but if that is what you really want to do, you need a good therapist to help you talk through it.

My aunt has done this — her marriage has been miserable for decades, but there is no way she would leave. A good therapist seems to have helped her make peace. She basically lives her life almost as if her husband doesn’t exist. There kids are grown — they even have a grandkid and just sort of barely coexist. She definitely does all the cooking and cleaning so they must interact at some level. But she has a medical issue and cannot drive long distances. When she has an appointment with her specialist three hours away, she gets a friend to drive her. She goes to family stuff for her extended family without him. Like, it wouldn’t even occur to me to invite him. He does do some stuff with her when it is his family or some friends they have had for decades. But he mostly seems to sit around the house (likely depressed) and high on pot or pills. I think she even found gay porn and she still won’t leave.[/quote]

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