Reply to Gender Disappointment- looking for proactive ways to get over it

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Reply to "Gender Disappointment- looking for proactive ways to get over it"

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[quote=Anonymous]I'm sorry, OP.  This is sort of the first of the firsts, that what you get isn't always what you signed up for.

This is also something that in today's world happens when the tween decides they want to go to the other gender.  The parents feel bad but are not allowed to say anything because it's not PC; one is supposed to support their kid and swallow their feelings.

And when your kid hits puberty, suddenly they don't go lock-step in the way you want them to. You love animals and they don't.  You love baseball and they hate all sports.

Although it's hard at every stage, the beauty of this is that you are not raising an object that you hand-picked, you are raising an individual.  They come out different than you think; your parenting style and level of involvement will help in some ways, and not make a darn bit of difference in other ways.

I have two older teens, same gender, and I cannot believe how different they are from each other, and also how different they are from me.  DH and I feel like zookeepers over two radically different species...like a dolphin and a leopard; different mentalities, hobbies, talents, ways of being, and with different needs.

Sure there is some dissapointment that they are not the children I imagined in personality and interests and talents.  But there is great joy in watching these two unique people grow and navigate the world. Honestly, with one of them, she is so different than me but so fascinating, I'm like "how could I be her mother?" and also "wow I'm actually honored to be given the role of being her mother, to have had this experience sort of raising this different creature."[/quote]

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