Reply to Help for DW who was abused/neglected as a child and who is struggling parenting?

Forum Index » Infants, Toddlers, & Preschoolers

Reply to "Help for DW who was abused/neglected as a child and who is struggling parenting?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think you need someone who specializes in trauma. Her depression may be so intertwined with her trauma that she can't deal with one without dealing with the other. I agree EMDR can be useful as an immediate support.

Can you afford to hire someone to help with the kids when you aren't home? It really sounds like your wife isn't able to manage the demands of parenting. When you ask her perspective on how she is or how she feels as a parent - what does she say? Does she have insight into her actions?[/quote]

OP here, sadly she does not seem to have insight into her actions or the kids' emotional needs. When I brought up the playground inciident she seemed slightly concerned but in a weird 3rd party way "oh I wouldn't want to scare them" but then she dismissed it later as "different judgment". There is no judgment anymore she just reacts. She often seems to want to attack me "you are a shitty parent too" or minimize "some parents leave their kids in cars" or shift blame, you get the idea. There seems to be no sense whatsoever that her well being being restored quickly is part of parenting, it' like she is now in a parallel universe or something. She tells her doc she is better but the interactions with the outside world and other people are almost nonexistent. She seems to feel responsible for not protecting a sister and seems to see herself more like a passive older sibling. She was an involved caring parent at one point, althogh it is increasingly in the past. It's very complicated and it seems like the floor is dropping every few weeks. I only want to try to get the right "label" to get effective help if I can persuade her. The talk therapy she is doing now seems to be bringing up emotions that are impacting her ability to provide for the kids' basic safety. I am extremely concerned for her but feeling frantic about the kids and how to pull off the holidays. Her affect has caused people to pull back and we are pretty isolated. Trying to get the kids out for playdates and such. I'd try to leave with them but worry about her stability. If we stay and things are like this or worse I can't shield the kids enough. We need really expert help, ideally for DW, for me, for the kids and for us as a family. I also need someone with the experience to address the safety issues, DW's as well. The kids are not left with her at this point. The doctors and therapists we have seen in the past say they have no idea what to tell me to do.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics