Reply to In LTR with affair partner; exh struggles

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[quote=Anonymous]Well, I am a child in this situation and I would say no, it will never be the same.  My mom's AP has been with her for 20+ years now, but my dad still freezes him out and my sister and I decline to treat him as a family member.  It is very, very awkward to have an affair within your friend group.  I found out on my own initiative when I was 16 and it swiftly blew up my friendship with the AP's children, that I had had since infancy.   The whole thing is embarrassing and my mom has never taken responsibility for it.  She wants us to act like a big happy modern family, but the lies and deceitfulness don't just go away because the liar wants them to.  The whole thing was traumatic and continues to be a pain.  I don't wish my dad would be nicer, I think he is well within his rights to be cold to his former friend.  I wish my mom would stop pressuring us all to accept her AP and just accept that we won't and let well enough alone.

My dad is remarried to someone he met later, who I dislike for unrelated reasons, but I put up with her because I think I should.  I don't feel the same obligation to an AP, ever.[/quote]

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