Reply to I hate Mother’s Day.

Forum Index » Off-Topic

Reply to "I hate Mother’s Day. "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
I really don't understand people like you. [b]Stop expecting people to do extraordinary things for you[/b]. Stop doing things for ungrateful people.

For Mother's Day, I state clearly what I want, and knowing my family, I ask for things they can give. Usually I want them to clean the house, instead of me. That's all. I prefer to do my own fancy meal. My family gives me flowers and perhaps a card - I really don't care, and don't ask for them. There is never a gift. I don't give a gift for Father's Day either.

My husband and I then call our respective mothers to wish them a happy day. That's it. No cards, no flowers. Just a nice  conversation.

Seriously. Just enjoy the day reflecting on the fact that to all intents and purposes you're a devilishly lucky person with a family. It doesn't take any material goods to do that.
[/quote]

I don’t know where in my post I implied this but I do not expect anyone to do anything at all extraordinary. And I do clearly state to my husband that I’d like him to as I said “do at least one thing, like getting flowers, so when 15 people ask me about this on Monday, I can say, ‘oh they got me flowers!’” I then told him on the day I was ordering flowers for my stepmom what I was doing. I’ve never asked for or gotten a material gift for Mother’s Day and don’t care about it either. It literally just feels shi!!ty when this comes up in conversation for a week and you have nothing to say, and then it feels shi!!y to be hurt about it when the only reason I’m hurt is this arbitrarily created concept.

Despite both my mom and stepmom being annoying about Mother’s Day, dealing with the aftermath of ignoring it is just not worth not putting in the emotional and physical labor this week. Every year I am faced with. “Deal with their Mother’s Day drama during or after the day?’ And after drama is longer and worse.

I don’t get people like you, I do appreciate how lucky I am. Very much. But don’t really understand what that has to do with my irritation that society has created a holiday for a group of people who frequently end up feeling like garbage that day. And then we’re told to like it and feel grateful for it.

It’s a day I don’t enjoy. And I’m not going to feel guilty about hating it in addition to everything else. That I get to feel guilty free!
[/quote]

PP you replied to. My point is that allowing yourself to loathe that particular day means you're still a victim of it. Don't be.

1. Refuse to play along with the drama your mother or MIL create. You can choose to do absolutely nothing. I celebrate in a very low-key way because I've never had a problem or conflict on that day, but were I in your shoes, I'd have put the elders in their place long ago. No calls from me, or any time it took after that to get them to lay off. I had a very emotionally manipulative mother, and tamed her by sheer willpower. 
2. You need to be a lot more specific  re:husband request. "I want blue hydrangeas from the store, call me if there aren't any so I can pick something else." You know him best, but if what you've tried doesn't work, you know you need to try something else, right?
3. Most families celebrate in a low-key way but ads everywhere make it look as if you're supposed to go all out. Don't buy into the dissonance. Choose to be content with what you have.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics