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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]In general, this would be a good time to teach some of the finer points of being a good guest:

1) You can decline with thanks.

2) You can go and pretend to have a good time, figuring out how to find enjoyable moments in a setup that’s not of your choosing.

What you can’t do is try to turn this into an ordinary meetup, where all parties have a say in the planning/destination/menu. This will help prevent them from being the future dinner party guest who confuses their host with a waiter.

Given that your kid is genuinely scared of the planned activity, I’d go with option 1. Given that these are kids, you can add an explanation: “Thanks so much for the invite to Perpetua’s party. Right now, Larla is going through a phase where she’s scared of rollercoasters/pony rides/clowns, so it’s better if we stay home. But we’ll be thinking of you all on the 15th!”[/quote]

I would not phrase it that way, because it could make the host feel awkward or bad for choosing this activity. Maybe the birthday child loves horses, should they not have a horse riding party because your kid is frightened? Better to just say we can’t attend, no explanation is needed. If they push for why, stick to Larla isn’t able to attend.

My child has food allergies and we once declined a birthday cooking party. I decided it wasn’t worth trying to figure out a way to participate safely without inconvenience to everyone, and I’m sure the mom didn’t mean for it to be a challenge for us, and would have felt bad if I’d explained why we couldn’t make it. So I just declined. Life goes on. [/quote]

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