Reply to is Loving the Husband More Than the Kids is Key to Good Life

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Stupid dichotomy. Life moves in phases. When your children are young, the kids come first because their sheer survival depends upon your placing them as a priority. As the kids get older, then yes, the marriage take priority. It's not a zero-sum game either. I like my husband more when I think he's being a really great dad and get pissed off at him when I think that he could be doing a better job at parenting.[/quote]

I agree.  There are seasons to a marriage and to parenting.  I think it's unhealthy to look at it as black and white from either perspective - being in the camp that proclaims DH #1 or the camp that puts the kids there.

There was a woman on Oprah years ago who talked about this being her belief system.  Didn't she say she wouldn't die for a child, because they could have more children, but she'd die for her DH b/c she couldn't imagine living without him?  If I didn't screw that up, does that sound healthy and well adjusted to you?[/quote]

Well that's just messed up. I love my DH, I put him first sometimes, and think we have a great marriage. Would I die for him? Possibly. Would I die for him OVER my daughter? Move the fuck over, DH. It would be hard to live without him. It would be impossible to live without my child. [/quote]

Right? I am sorry, but I can't imagine my DC cheating on me, or divorcing me.  I know emancipation exists, but let's face it -- a child is a child of yours for life.  A spouse?  They aren't anywhere near as irreplaceable.

And I say this as someone who married the love of my life and has a great marriage.  I'd literally lay down my life for my DH or DC, but if I had to choose, DC would win every. damn. time.[/quote]

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