Reply to Different view on the in-law angst

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[quote=Anonymous]i think OP is spot-on for me, as well. they just bring out my worst qualities. i find it hard to be nice and giving at all. and when i do try, i worry that i sound fake - "Mil, how do you make this chicken dish? could you tell me or write it down so i can try it at home?" (she uses a ton of processed crap and i try really hard to feed our family organic and fresh food, so i'm sure she sees me mentally rolling my eyes as she says "mix one packet of onion soup mix with one jar of ragu tomato sauce and make sure you buy a can of fried onions to put on top").

we weer with the ILs over the weekend and i ended up with so much pain in my neck and shoulders - i think i was sitting with my back clenched the entire time. sigh.

funny thing is, i thought that when you get married to someone you love, that you would love their family, too and that they would love you back. my first gift to my mil (after we got engaged and i went to stay with them for a long wknd) was a philosophy bath gift set that i thought was pretty special (i was young; 26 and a medical resident, making not much money at all). I remember her looking at it and saying "hm." and then putting it away and never opening it up. and my dh and SIL pointed out to me that she buys "very expensive stuff and doesn't need anything from you" (uh... gifts are not about need, but about giving). she's responded to all my varied gifts through the years in the same way. very disappointing.[/quote]

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