Reply to Why are some woman okay with being “the other woman”?

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[quote=Anonymous]I wrote a long post in the other current thread about affair partners about this very topic and for some inexplicable reason Jeff deleted it.

The short version is that many women are initially tricked into engaging with a married man, then they are often lied to and gaslighted as much as the wife is and they stay involved because love is often blind and stupid as a great many posts on this board from complaining wives - and husbands - well establishes.

After a very brief involvement with a married man who lied to me about his marital status, out of curiosity I found myself at an Internet board called The Other Woman (it is now defunct) and spent a few years posting there. Initially I went to learn about how APs justify participating in infidelity, but I ended up staying for the general discussion boards which were very good. I learned a lot reading the relationship boards and most of it was sad.

Other women/men aren’t monsters. People are complicated. Some people are terrible liars and cheats who take advantage of those of us who are by nature very trusting. Those of you being cheated on would probably be more upset about how your spouse is depicting you to the AP than you are about the actual sex.

For the record, my mother confided in me her infidelity and my father’s as well when I was a young teen. Obvious emotional incest and a totally inappropriate thing to do, and it made me distrust committed relationships my whole life. I’m no defender of infidelity. I have refused to be the person enabling a cheater on many occasions when that person’s status was known to me, and I was (and remain) devastated that I slept with a married man unknowingly.

All that said, given the high rates of infidelity it seems like monogamy isn’t working all that well in our society anymore. [/quote]

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