Reply to Struggling to Support Unemployed Husband

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[quote=Anonymous]Separate the issues of

- supporting his seeking a new job
- your own feelings of disappointment/resentment 
- your own feelings of shame 
- your DH’s feelings of disappointment/ hopelessness

Right now you are thinking all of these can be solved if you DH just gets a new job. This puts all the pressure on him. However, you can address your own feelings of disappointment and shame without your DH getting a new job. And your DH can seek help from a resume coach or headhunter on finding a job, and also seeking therapy to address is own feelings.

My mom was a SAHM for 25 years when my father became unemployed. She got a job after about 12 months, he finally found another job after 18 months (in his late 50s), but had to reimagine his career, which was really hard for him. He became depressed during his unemployment, but finally climbed out of it. My mom was upset and frustrated when he was depressed, but ultimately started looking for work. She switched jobs twice before finding an opportunity that she loved, and kept working even after my father was employed again. [/quote]

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