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Midlife Concerns and Eldercare
Reply to "Transitioning to gray - this is so hard"
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[quote=Anonymous]I realized recently that I will probably not let myself go gray until my mom dies. I know that sounds like a weird choice. It has to do with the fact that my mom is sort of pressuring me to "get old". It started when I had kids and intensified when I turned 40. She wants me to look and feel old, like she does. She comments on any gray hair she sees, any wrinkle, and sign that I'm slowing down at all, and she makes it about her. It's frustrating to still be dealing with this at my age. She has always been like this about everything. So even though I kind of like the idea of just letting my gray hair come in, I know she'd make a big deal out of it and it would be like "Aha, now you and I are finally melding into the same person, as I always hoped." So refusing to go gray is sort of about looking younger for me, but mainly because being younger is a way for me to be distinct for her, and I need that distinction. When she passes, I think I will be freed in many ways to make different choices.[/quote]
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