Reply to I'm jealous of people whose parents aren't narcissists

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm not jealous.  I'm just incredibly sad.  In my case, it's my father.  I hate the fact that every interaction with him is so exhausting and hurtful.  I feel so much grief that he will mess with me for the rest of my life and we will never have a close, loving relationship.  I feel red hot fury that he cannot see the part he plays in our terrible relationship, but I'm working on accepting it.

So I'm not jealous of other people. I'm just sad for myself.[/quote]

I'm one of the PPs, and while I get an occasional pang of envy when I see the relationship that one of my closest friends has with her folks (who are what parents should be), it's mostly just sadness for me too. The therapist I saw at the time I was working through these issues just told me that I had to mourn the parental relationship I won't have like it's the death of a person. It's dead and gone and never actually existed in the first place. That has made it easier to cope when I feel sadness, anger, or guilt or when people don't understand why I don't have anything to do with my father. It also makes it easier to ignore his attempts to reach out. I know nothing will change, nothing about him has changed, and the end result will be same if I give him yet another chance. But it's also a wound that will never fully heal. [/quote]

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