Reply to I'm jealous of people whose parents aren't narcissists

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DH dad is NPD. BIL is BPD and MIL is DPD. The household is so utterly dysfunctional that I was traumatized when I went to help them 2 years ago for 2 weeks. I felt I was dying.

DH is a lovely husband and fantastic human being. He is loved and adored and has high moral standards. He has created a life away from them but still treats them with compassion. We have been together for 33 years since we were 21.

Sooner or later we will have to take care of MIL. [/quote]

We have this dynamic too.  DH is a great guy but visits with his family always consist of his parents shouting or crying or some sort of adult meltdown taking place.  Then it blows over and we are expected to act like the whole thing never happened.  Rinse and repeat, visit after visit.  When they stay with us, they lack any sort of basic respect (FIL watches tv on full blast until 2:00am and asking him to turn it off turns into an awkward battle).  I often regret ignoring these red flags while dating DH, but not sure I could have predicted the mess of living in it.  Pre-Covid, they rarely left their home and any attempt to gently coax them to a restaurant or park or outing was met with a fight.  It's exhausting.

The whole situation used to stress me, but as I've talked to them less and less over time, I feel a bit free.[/quote]

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