Reply to Resent husband and his sibling over care of Mother in Law

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Your kid’s dance tryouts are not more important than your husband trying to figure out how to care for a parent with dementia. Get your perspective straight.

My parents both have dementia and their agency absolutely send the same people. We have twenty four seven care and a six person team that rotates. This is private pay, not insurance.[/quote]

Actually no. It's usually the people who do nothing and are backseat drivers who say this sort of thing to guilt trip. The younger generation comes first. You find a residential facility, you visit often. You don't rob your kids of a parent to provide endless care for someone who did not plan. I have found those who were actually there for their parents are more likely to go into independent living themselves at a continued care place because they understand how life draining it can be for adult children and they have sometimes even seen there own friends die before the elderly parents from the strain. If I had a dollar for every story of an adult child who developed cancer or some other serious illness while dealing with the endless needs of their parents and parental duties. Your health and the well-being of your children MATTER and take precedence. Anyone who insists an elderly parent comes before an innocent child who has not lead a complete lifecycle or a middle aged adult who needs to stay alive for those children has their priorities wrong. [/quote]

Very American mindset. OP, does your MIL have any assets that your husband stands to inherit? That makes all the difference. BIL is smart to not bother at all if their mom is destitute. There also could be history of abuse/neglect that you don't know about.[/quote]

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