Reply to Friend picked expensive bday venue; what to contribute

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[quote=Anonymous]I would tell your friends sooner rather than later -- in case reservations need to be changed. You had no choice in picking the restaurant or the change in the number of people. If you feel comfortable paying for yourself, as others have said, let your friends know that it's not in your budget, but you're happy to join them to celebrate. You might also offer an alternative -- saying that you'd love to celebrate with them and treat them to a meal, but, after having the chance to see the menu, this is not in your budget. Suggest that you bow out of this particular celebration - which you know the've been looking forward to, but would love to host them both for brunch soon at a restaurant that you can suggest.

I would hope that whoever chose the restaurant would offer to treat everyone. If they don't, they can surely get that your initial agreement was not to be the only person picking up the bill for the whole group. I think the key here is to offer alternative celebration options while totally supporting their wish to also celebrate at the restaurant at least one of them chose. It's possible that one of them is planning to pick up the check -- but hasn't thought to mention it beforehand, because they haven't realize that in choosing the restaurant, they've become the host. And, of course, if all five people were attending, as originally planned, this wouldn't be a concern.

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