Reply to Consequences for 11-year old constantly lying about exceeding screen time limits

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[quote=Anonymous]In fairness to your kid, it’s very very common for adults to struggle with perception of time on screens - often people think they’ve been online or gaming for just a short time (15 minutes) when in fact it’s been much longer (an hour). That’s why iPhones have a screen time tracking function that actually accurately tracks time of use and by category, and allows users to install limits that lock them out after the preferred period of time.

It’s quite possible when he inaccurately recited his time gaming to you, he was honestly mistaken rather than blatantly lying. Obviously when he’s supposed to be reading books and instead is gaming that’s actual dishonesty. He’s a kid and kids are ruled much more by impulse and emotion than by ethics. It doesn’t mean he’s turning into a bad kid, but screens are highly addictive and many adults struggle with moderating use so it’s probably unreasonable to expect a kid his age to moderate on his own and be disappointed in his character when he can’t. He knows you’re disappointed which is why he lies even though logically he knows you can easily root out the lie.

I understand that getting paper books from the library in the pandemic is a bigger hassle than usual, and maybe he doesn’t like paper books anyway. Get him a kindle paperwhite for reading time - it has only the downloaded books and no other temptations. Or, if the games are online, lock his device out of the wifi connection except during the times he’s allowed to play games or interact with friends online. It should be very easy to set up a system like that where you can control which devices are allowed to connect to your wifi and for how long. It might take some effort but not more than general parental discipline.[/quote]

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