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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Are you going to be there the whole time?  If not, then why can't you let them be there some of the time that you're not.  Your post is nice enough but you keep bringing up the fact that you wanted them to go in on it with you so now, frankly, you're sounding very retaliatory.

We have a second home so I get it that you get a lot of requests.  If we're not using the house then we let family members stay there.  As long as they're good caretakers of our property and return it to us the way we left it (or better as happened when a cousin's husband did some major plantings that we had discussed in casual conversation but never undertaken) then we're fine.

When your post mentions less about 'they had the opportunity' and more about other reasons then you'll get a pass from me.  Otherwise like I said you sound like you're being retaliatory.[/quote]

I don't think OP sounds retaliatory, but I do think that her family sounds entitled.  There is nothing that makes it a "family house", and OP already gave them an opportunity to share, anticipating something like this, and they didn't.  Eff that.

OP, you will find that there are some over the top entitled adults in this world.  "No" is all you owe them, whether or not they are accustomed to hearing it, and you certainly don't need to explain yourself to them. Ever.

My friend has a beach house and her DH had a homeless friend because he had recently gone through a divorce.  My friend's DH is the type to complain about money ALL the time, and yet basically supported this user loser for about two years - we are talking car, place to stay, job, and more. His kids trashed the place and the furniture, it was awful.  The next year, the same guy asked to use the house and my friend flat out said no - which obviously, she should have done the year before, but never in a million years anticipated that they guy would be so well......such a loser [by thinking he was a.) entitled to use the place and b.) entitled to trash the place and c.) entitled to expect to ever use the house again]. Her DH should have never put her in that position, but she took the reins and ended it. I admire her for that and more. Some people basically have their hand out, it is what they know - especially if they see someone with something they want.

OP, don't get into a situation where people like that think they have an "in", because it is extremely difficult to get rid of moocher leaches. They are a special breed who see no harm in, and have no qualms about encroaching on whomever they feel like encroaching on. They are classless, and worse. Before you know it, these people will be leaving the kids at your house for you to babysit them during your vacations.

Your house is your retreat, not theirs, and not anyone else's. Don't feel the least bit guilty about saying no and changing the subject.  If they keep bringing it up, time to escalate the boundaries.

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