Reply to When you don't like a person in your broader friend group, which is the best way to handle?

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Reply to "When you don't like a person in your broader friend group, which is the best way to handle?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Of course I would not say something to anyone.

I'm going with "A softer #3," which is to say treat her nicely and do not say anything to anyone else in the group, but don't fake like you're super-friends with her. Be polite and cordial, but don't over-act friendly.

Like, just don't sit next to her at a group dinner. Don't go over and talk to her at a house party. Say hello to her, and keep it moving. If she comes up to a small group you're talking to, stay for a minute and then go to the restroom or go refill your drink or something. See her only in the larger group setting. If a lunch invite comes and it's just you and her and only one other person, decline.

Come on. You can't figure this out? [/quote]

This is my solution as well.  Also, friendships change.  You might start liking her or you might grow even more distant.

I must say that I have only ever wirthdrawn from friendships because of racist anti-Muslim, anti-Women, anti-LGBTQ  behavior.    What is interesting is that now when  I am introduced to new people, my friends will quickly clarify to them that I will not tolerate comment against x, y and z group of people and then everyone avoids controversial topics.  So may be I am a bit of drama person, no?

This is even more bizarre to me because people should learn that they have implicit bias and change their behavior instead of not talking about these things in front of me.  No one ever says "Oh, I would never speak ill of any group just because they are of a different race, gender, religion or sexual orientation than me because it is such an inhuman thing to do,".  No one has ever said that.

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