Reply to I'd like to hear from anyone who's happy to have decided to give up on their parents

Forum Index » Off-Topic

Reply to "I'd like to hear from anyone who's happy to have decided to give up on their parents"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]This is a really interesting thread bc I am in the process of cutting my mother out of my life.  My father died years ago.  My mother has never been a good mother, was physically and emotionally abusive to me and my sister, and has very very few friends (she is remarried, but is rude to her husband, honestly).  I have finally decided I am done after (as I posted on another thread), she told my 9-y-o autistic son, to his face, that he is an awful person and she never wants to see him again.  Obviously I am not going to have either of my children around her and she lives far enough away that we could easily never see her again.  So that's that.  It is hard tho.  Here are my issues I'm working through:

1 -- being the kind of person who doesn't speak to her mother.  I know it's not my fault and I certainly wouldn't judge someone else who decided to do it, but I'm a reasonably happy person and it's weird to me to have such a messed up family (my sister is no walk in the park either).

2 -- really never seeing my own mother again.  She could live for 20 more years and I would grow old and never see her again.  As bad as she has been, she is still my mother and that's just sad.

3 -- dealing with my daughter asking about her.  I know my mother will continue to send cards/money bc that's just how she is.  Do I just stop telling my kids about my mother at all?  What if they see pictures in an album.  How does one deal with that without digging up the horrible incident (plus the fact that she was just pissy with my son in general).

4 -- figuring out what to do if she tried to have more contact than what we have now (a bday card for my daughter and $, a bday email for me).  I can handle that level, but certainly don't want to speak to her on the phone or see her.  I am considering getting caller id at home just so I can screen.

Am I happier now?  Yes, definitely.  I have wanted her out of my life or less in my life for years but couldn't quite do it.  Now it's pretty clear.  It will be quite nice not to hear twice a year (plus on the phone) that I'm overweight, how sad she is that my son is so difficult (not accompanied by $ for therapy for him or a babysitter for a night out for me), that I'm a disappointment that I choose to do less in terms of a career so I can devote myself more to my kids, esp since my son needs so much.  Doesn't like my house, hates my cat, etc. etc.  So it is a huge relief and if it weren't so horrible what she did, I would be glad it happened (if that makes sense).

OP, you should feel no guilt whatsoever in stepping away from your family.  Your son doesn't need that kind of negativity in his life and neither do you.  You will feel a huge weight lifted, even if it is difficult.  Good luck.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics