Reply to S/O - not agreeing on ADHD Medication

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[quote=Anonymous]I think what some of us were upset about, and feeling "censored" over was that we were addressing a real and germane issue of the OP's actual post, which is that her husband's POV deserved more consideration and that the OP was wrong to just dismiss his opinion, especially considering that

a: he has experience working for pharmaceutical industry 
b. many posters wanted to know more about the situation (ie to what extent did OP consider non-medical approaches first before considering medical in order to help inform discussion on how best to approach her husband) 
and 
c. yes, some posters feel strongly that medicine is a last resort and that, yes, some folks were questioning the use of medicine at all.

What bothered me about the thread is that Jeff does NOT intervene in similar threads. Say we replaced the issue with one of the all too familiar MIL debates and OP said:

Husband and wife disagree about allowing MIL to watch children - she allows too much TV and we don't, so I want not to allow kids at her house. I don't want to hear about whether or not my approach is the right one, I only want opinions on how to get my husband to see things my way.

Would Jeff ever intervene here?

Let's say the issue was:

Need help convincing husband we should devote money to our kids 429 even though we are not maxing our our 401K (or vice versa).

Would Jeff limit the discussion ONLY to strategies to persuade the husband? The thing about DCUM is, ask a question, get an answer and it's not always the one you want and it is not always the one that addresses the question you asked. I have seen him intervene here only when the issue is really polarizing, like someone asking for medical info on abortion to save her life, and he blocks the people who say "you're going to hell for aborting." But there's a huge difference, because in this case, people are trying in good faith to tell OP that her husband might have a point, and that her framing of the question as "how do I convince my husband to medicate" is pretty limited, and she's getting answers from folks who identify with the husband in this equation. Or answers from folks who just have BTDT and want, in best faith, to tell OP things she may not have considered.

YES, there is an unfortunate undercurrent of "don't zombie out your kids," which sucks, because obviously nobody on these boards wants to do this. But damn, ADHD is a huge problem, and many of us are hard-pressed to think that the ONLY answer is medicating.

FWIW, I think there is absolutely a place for medication. But, it's interesting, someone asked if I'd forgo medication for depression. The answer to that is, it depends. There are many legitimate approaches to depression. There is a place for medication and there is a place for therapy; not everybody benefits from both. I would never tell someone based on a paragraph on DCUM that they should go take an anti-depressant, or that they should NOT take the anti-depressant. I'd simply say "here are some things you might want to try before you take that step." If I said to the board:

I am having major anxiety and am thinking about going on an antidepressant. Which one is the best?, would Jeff bar people from suggesting a great cognitive behavior therapist that worked wonders for them? Or ask me about my sleep, my caffeine intake, etc? Suggest some diet changes that worked for them? I'd figure on getting both direct answers, "Do not pass go, go directly to Lexapro and don't look back" and I'd expect the whole "too many people are drugging themselves out of having real emotions sadness" type of posts - both extremes kind of ignorant, in my opinion. But in between, there would be nuanced conversation that, IMHO, is worthy of discussing.

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