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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't think you should label kids that like that anyway. What's the point of telling a child they aren't athletic or aren't musical?

Also, there are lots of different types of intelligence. I think it's okay to say your child "Isn't really into math right now" or something, but just blanket saying "They're not intelligent" probably isn't correct.[/quote]

Everyone has skills that come naturally and others that require more work. One of my sons is a natural athletes who is able to become proficient in whatever sport he tries rather quickly.  It's not that he's faster, or stronger, because he's not, but for whatever reason, he can manage the basics of any sport he tries. However, his mental attitude isn't the best, so his natural athleticism only takes him so far before he is surpassed by less athletic kids who are hard workers.

Personally, I don't think there is anything wrong with recognizing individual strengths and weaknesses, although these should not be stressed at a young age. My other not naturally athletic son who is really slow has become a competent soccer player by figuring out how to use his understanding of the game, which includes recognizing his lack of speed, and his technical skill to be effective on the field. Obviously he's not going to play at a high level, but that won't stop him from playing despite not being a natural athlete.

Hard work, passion, commitment can overcome lack of natural ability in many cases. Lack of significant interest and lack of natural talent should not stop anyone from doing something they love, but sometimes as parents, it's better to manage expectations to steer your kids into the right environment where they will succeed and be happy.

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In a way I see your point, but also, I think it's unfair/counterproductive in you family that one chid is labeled athletic and one isn't even though the "athletic" child doesn't seem to really excel in sports while the "non-athletic child" seems to enjoy sports and do better at them in the long run. My point is, why bother thinking of your children that way?[/quote]

To answer your question, I don't really think of them that way. They compare themselves to each other. The child I described as athletic does excel at sports in a the setting that works for him, but its been a journey to find that right level. Sometimes, natural ability is a negative, not a pro, because it sets up expectations that might not align with your work ethic or even your desires. And for kids and parents, sorting through that is tough, especially as kids get older and have to prioritize.

The point I was trying to make is that I've heard my one son who is not a natural athlete express embarrassment about how slow he is, without giving himself credit for what he does in other areas. That's what he should feel good about and that's what is most important in life.

The same is true for intelligence. All kids have different starting points in terms of ability, but ultimately what determines how far you go is work, effort, and passion. They key is not letting a kid who might have started with a little less natural ability get discouraged along the way.

Back to sports, I read an article about Luca Garza, who's a basketball player for the University of Iowa who is one of the more celebrated players in the country. The article describes how in any game he plays in, he's probably the least athletic player on the court. But he has worked on his fitness, to be the best player he can be in his body, and learned to use his basketball IQ to overcome his athletic limitations.  That's what I'm talking about.

[url]https://www.baltimoresun.com/sports/college/basketball/bs-sp-luka-garza-iowa-20200110-ve7cpukqyrajpftjrb44yelqgq-story.html[/url][/quote]

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