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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My long term boyfriend has a batsh*t crazy, drug addicted ex-wife and it’s one of the reasons that he’ll always be my boyfriend and I won’t marry him.  Apparently she was a nice, decent human being before she started using but she’s been using for years so he was attracted to a completely different person than who she is now.

When I met him she was sober(ish) so she’d take the kids periodically.  Then when she’d slip back into addiction she could go months without any interaction with them.  My boyfriend has defaulted to being a full time dad- now that his ex is sort of sober again the oldest refuses to ever stay at her place and has maybe had two overnights in the past year.  Makes it challenging to maintain an adult relationship outside of his responsibilities as a parent.

I stay in my lane.  I know they aren’t my kids so I have good relationships with them as another supportive adult but not a parenting relationship.  Although I do lose it on my boyfriend when he continues to allow the ex the ability to try and adult- every so often she’ll want to take the kids to a doctors appointment or sporting event.   it always ends up badly for the kids (she either gets them there late or not at all) and it’s hard to witness.  But he keeps allowing it because he wants to give her the opportunity to be a mom.  But she’s clearly not able to be a productive member of society and those poor kids.  Bottom line is that it takes a lot of patience and you have to accept it for what it is.  Or not be in the situation to begin with.[/quote]

I’m curious, does your boyfriend not mind that you don’t want to marry? Have you been upfront with him about why?[/quote]

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