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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=jsmith123]Every time you teach something to a child, you deprive them of ability to figure it out for themselves.

The point isn't the knowledge itself.  The point is the discovery of the knowledge.[/quote]

So why ever send a child to school?  [/quote]

I'm not the PP, although I share some of that belief.

In my opinion, there are two different aspects of learning.  One is learning a specific set of skills or knowledge, and one is learning how to learn and how to be self directs and how to follow rabbit trails and discover things for yourself.  I value both of these things.  There is a long list of specific skills and knowledge I want my kids to have.  I want them to be adults who can read, and multiply, and swim, and cross the street safely, and keep a budget, and cook meals, and use the toilet . . . But I also want them to be adults who know themselves well, an explore their own passions, and don't need to be spoonfed to learn.  I'm constantly balancing those two things.

For my kids, this looks like having in my mind an idea about the age when I think having a skill becomes important, and then delaying teaching the skill until the kid is close to that age.  So, my kids have lots of opportunity to explore and discover and make something theirs, but if they're at an age when I feel they need a skill, then I'll teach it.

To use a less emotionally laden example, I took my kids to the pool, and did lots of water play, from the time they were very small, and both of my kids "self taught" how to swim by their fourth birthday.  But if they hadn't, then I would have either changed from child led play to adult directed playful learning, at around 5 or 6, because that's when they'd need swimming as a skill for things like pool playdates or summer camps that went to the pool.

For reading, I had one kid who showed interest in reading really early.  They asked a million questions, and tried to track the print in the books we read as a toddler, and wanted the captions on when they watched TV.  That kid read at 3.  I have one kid, who probably could have been taught to read at 3, but didn't ask those questions or seek out those things.  At 5, when his kindergarten teacher was like "hey guess what, letters make sounds and you can blend those sounds like this?" he was like "really, all the letters?  Hey mom what are the other sounds?" and was reading chapter books in a couple months.  And I have a third kid who probably sits on the borderline of dyslexia, and needed lots of card games with letter sounds, and guided practice starting around 5 to figure out the process.

I think it's cool that my early reader learned at 3.  He certainly enjoyed a lot of reading in his early years.  But I think that pushing that second brother would have been a mistake.  I was glad that reading was a thing he mostly discovered on his own.  That he didn't see it as my agenda.  And I don't think the fact that he learned at 5 hurt him.  He's not "behind" now as a reader.  He reads as well as the top kids in his class, including kids who were pushed to read at 3.  I'm confident that he'll be an adult who reads as well as he'll need to read.  And my third kid, I think the decision to wait till 5 to start made sense, because I think at 3 he was no where near ready, but I think that if we'd made the decision to wait for formal reading instruction till 8 it would have been a mistake, because we live in a country where 6 - 8 are expected to read, and if he hadn't been reading around grade level he would have experienced a lot of failure, and missed out on a lot of things that are taught through reading in the early grades.  But I also recognize that that decision to make reading something that I controlled and taught to him, even though we did it gently through fun games with lots of cuddles and a mug of hot chocolate, came at a cost.  He definitely sees reading as something that school and mom make you do.  He doesn't see himself as a reader, and isn't as curious about it or as likely to initiate it as his brothers.  I made the decision to start teaching him despite that cost, because at that point I think there were costs to waiting too, and those costs were greater.  But for a 3 year old there is not cost to waiting, so sacrificing that internal drive and curiosity, even a little bit, isn't worth it. [/quote]

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