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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I feel for you, OP. I also had 8 rounds of IVF and several rounds of medicated IUIs between ages 40 and 44.  I had one chemical, five day five embryos to PGS test abnormal, and around  15 day three embryos that were transferred over several IVF rounds that resulted in.....nothing. After my last round of IVF failed, I decided to consider DE because I was exhausted, broke, and emotionally drained. It's taken me many months to come around to it, and that's with seeing a therapist who specializes in infertility issues.

I think my thought process has been that I want a baby and I 've been trying for one for a really long time. If I have one using DE, I still get to be pregnant, still get to have this baby from birth, and it will still be genetically linked to my husband. Of course the downsides are (this is just what's in my head - not everyone feels this way about it, at all) that you lose the genetic link, and that essentially, you have a baby that is your husband's/partner's and biologically someone else's. But, again, I keep coming back to that I still get to have a baby that I raise from birth and who is linked to my husband.

Also, it can take a while depending on if you use fresh or frozen. I have actually not started the process yet as I've been in research mode (fresh vs frozen, success rates, unknown/known donor, which clinic, what tests are needed, etc.). From what I've read, fresh have a slightly higher success rates, and if you want bio siblings you can do a 1:1 fresh cycle where you get all of the eggs (although you don't know how many the donor will produce). Or you can buy multiple lots of frozen for that purpose. Frozen are faster because they're already in the bank and ready to go, and you know how many eggs are there.

There's so much to think about :) I hope that the journey goes well for you![/quote]

OP here - yes! This is so similar to my story! [b]Most women seem to have a baby within 1-3 cycles,[/b] so I feel like such an outlier. Thanks for replying - I hate that you had to go through this but it's comforting that I'm not alone. I'm sorry it didn't work for you, but best of luck as you move forward! [/quote]

DP with the sneaky uterine issues here. This is key and you are absolutely spot on. Most women DO have success within 3 cycles and I really feel like if it doesn't work by then, your issue just isn't fixable by IVF. Of course women get lucky and have success, but they also have spontaneous pregnancies after stopping IVF. We did not exhaust our insurance coverage, so could have kept going, but it really felt like a lot of physical and emotional effort (and those drugs are a lot to put your body through!) for something that had very little odds of success. We were given single digit odds for continuing IVF, which was only a few percentage points higher than continuing on our own and hoping to get lucky. I think it is REALLY hard to stop the treatment train once you're already on it. You get into such a routine that it becomes normal for you. But it's not and in hindsight it's more hard and stressful than you realize in the moment. It feels really unnatural to give up the last bit of hope, but please know that moving to donor eggs isn't giving up hope, it's shifting your mindset and figuring out another path forward. My heart goes out to you and everyone else that's facing the end of the road with a bio child. It's unfair and I wish life didn't turn out this way for all of us.[/quote]

You are so right. I've done the 8 rounds plus an IUI back to back over 2 years, with the exception of the 10 weeks of "took off" for the pregnancy that ended in a MC. It feels normal since this is what life has been like for so long, but I also know that I used to not spend so much time crying. I'm hoping my SGF doctor can help me figure out if anything underlying is going on. Sending good vibes to you too. [/quote]

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