Reply to Feeling sad that daughter seems to be gay

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. Thanks for all the thoughtful replies. I guess what disappoints me is that I always imagined one day she would find a loving husband and would one day have a traditional family of her own. I looked forward to attending her wedding, and watching her marry her groom, and adding a son-in-law to the family (all my children are girls). I realize of course lesbian couples can marry and have children. But I feel society still attaches some stigma to these family structures and doesn’t perceive then as fully “normal.” So as much as I want to be supportive - and I will fake it if I have to - the truth is, I’m feeling sad. [/quote]

Honestly, nobody cares as much as you do. So don’t blame on “society” what you feel yourself. So she finds a loving wife, has a family of her own, you get to attend the wedding and watch her marry her bride, and you get another daughter in the family. Is that really such a big deal? If you’re worried about the stigma from society, start by getting right in your own head. Believe me, if she is in a relatively liberal area nobody cares anymore. People barely notice. Just because it doesn’t mesh with your fantasies doesn’t mean that she can’t have a wonderful life. In order to deal with your disappointment, you have to realize that your fantasies are what you want, not what she wants. Try to care more about her happiness than your own.

Of course, if what you’re really worried about is what people will think of YOU, then that is on you to deal with. A counselor may be able to help you.

Signed, a married lesbian with kids. [/quote]

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